Why do we always get disappointed if we put trust in human? Because Allah wants to show us there's no one you can rely on except Him
Human, a social being who can't always be trusted. There are people you can trust and put your believe in them so much, there are some people you can't trust too. That's why never rely on human (other people), you have to trust yourself and The One that always safe you from your wrong decision or at your worst time.
It's your right to choose who's gonna be your close friend or your usual friend. It's your right to choose where you want to be. Just a suggestion that even your close friend can be enemy sometimes, but they haven't attacked yet. You're lucky if you find a real trusted and beloved friends around you, praise them and keep them for the rest of your life. How can we find out who can be trusted or not? I can't tell but time will show.
For me, my journey to find out who I am and who's worth to kept needs almost all the time I've had. Lucky me, my close friend since I was a kid are loyal and really truthful. Even though, I also made mistakes. But you know,a good friend is like family, they never leave. That's the thing I'm still learning until this current time. My high school friends taught me a lot how to behave to each other, how to keep this friendship till 7 years we've been together. And they already taught me so that I become my self today, not I was.
Thank you for supporting me and taking care of me, thank you so much. They love just as the way the did, not much not less. Their love was just too precious for me. I love being surrounded by different kind of people, they're unique by themselves. No fake responses, no sweet appraisal, no jealousy, but they care of each other. That is friend! they don't always there by your side but they will be by your side at your lowest part on your life. Whatever the problem is, when it's done its done!
That's the thing I find in my undergraduate mates. I know that I don't even close to a better person I'm gonna be, I still left my friend who did mistake on me. But I have some reason that I keep for myself, Who's worth to be kept? For the one I've left, I'm sorry and let me ask you "Are you worthy enough to be kept?". I don't mind if I'm not worthy for you to be kept, like I said before whatever problem when it's done its done! But I apologize, I'm the kind of person who can't easily forget what you did to me. I thought that you're different, you were like my high school friends back then. As the time goes by, you've changed and I found you untruthful. All the things that made me think you're really a good friend of mine now disappear. Keep being you like you want to be, I don't care. You said you want to be different, right? We choose our own path, we walk by our own, we can't be together again.
I know I'm not better than you, so be it. But maybe when faith made us meet again, I will make sure that I'll be not the one I used to be, so will you. Maybe we can try one more chance even I don't want to. If you're just the same or worse than you're right now, let me keep my thought that you're not worthy to be kept.
I'm grateful for what I have now, for what you've done to me. I'm grateful I ever knew you and be your close friend. Let that story stays in our past. I'm in a struggle to keep what is worth for me, who are worth for me excluding you. I'm sorry.